I'm Sorry
by LessThanThreeSix
Summary: He couldn't take it anymore. All the guys starred at him in either disgust or shock. It hurt.What happens when Nick reaches his breaking point? Will Jeff be there to save him?


**Disclaimer: I don't own glee ):**

**Warnings: Homophic slurs, Child Abuse, Suicide attempt, and a really sad niff break up.**

* * *

As Nick walked down the hall he felt like he wanted to die. He couldn't take it anymore. All the guys starred at him in either disgust or shock. It _hurt._ Even though Dalton had a 'no bullying policy' that didn't stop people from not being friends, and right now he had none. What he did to Jeff was a mistake. He didn't mean for it to happen. He was drunk. So was Sebastian. One thing lead to another and here he is now, hated by everyone. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. Each person walked by him, giving him a look. Even his old friends. David and Wes never let him talk in Warblers practice and the rest had basically shunned him. He now shares a room with Sebastian, which is just making him look worse. He walked down the hall to the hall to the next Warblers meeting. He stood shocked when he saw all the Warblers standing next to Kurt and Blaine. Blaine gave him a look of somewhat sympathy, while Kurt looked at him like he had committed murder. Then there was Jeff, just looking down at his feet. His heart broke a little. He didn't know why he would be so stupid and cheat on him. He thought he had a little more common sense than that but he guessed not. He was also staring at his shoes until Wes spoke up.

"Um Nick," He snapped his head up; this had been the first time anyone had talked to him besides Sebastian.

"Yeah?" He croaked out his voice was hoarse from the lack of talking.

"Um, you're being kicked out of the Warblers. It was a unanimous decision." Wes said looking over at the other Warblers who just nodded in response.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. The tears welled up in his eyes but he couldn't let them see him cry, he had to be strong. So there he was just standing there with his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe this. All his friends had just turned on him. He was drunk, but frankly nobody seemed to care. He looked over at Sebastian, pleading him with his eyes to say something, but all he did was look down at his lap. Nick shook his head before running from the room. He ran. He ran until he could barely catch his breath. He ran all the way to the parking lot. He starred at his car that was parked right next to Jeff's. Then he just let it all out. All the tears that had been built up since he woke up naked next to Sebastian. He pulled out his keys from his bag, quickly unlocking his car. He was still sobbing as he pulled the door open and slid into the driver's seat. He banged his head on the steering wheel a few times while cursing under his breath until his head began to pound. He wiped the still falling tears from his face before starting the ignition and pulling off, getting away from Dalton and going home.

* * *

He walked into his house looking better than he did when he got into his car. Half way through the ride he finally stopped crying and was able to compose himself so he looked somewhat descent. His family looked at him with shock as he walked into the kitchen where they were eating. He would have been fine, seeing his mom and his sister, but then there sat his dad. His heart was literally pounding out of his chest. His dad was usually never home. He always had business trips, but he knew he was really cheating on his mom. He had seen the text messages and heard the voicemails. He was pretty sure his mom had too, but she never had the strength to get up and actually leave him. No matter how many times he had done something wrong.

"What are you doing here?" His dad stood up.

He knew his dad didn't like him. He used to. They used to be as close as any father and son could be, until Nick came out. His father was a big conservative. He always downgraded people who were different. When his father would use the term 'dyke' or 'fag' it would hurt Nick. It hurt him because that's what he was. He wanted to be proud of who he was but his dad never let him. His father had a shit-fit when Nick had come out. He had hit Nick too. His mother pretends it never happened and his sister was too young to remember it. Each time he would come home, his mom had to make sure his dad wasn't home. He hadn't seen his dad since he came out. He should have thought about it before he came back, but he was so hurt that he totally forgot.

"Um, I wanted to come home. Some stuff was going on at school."

"This is not your home, Nicolas. We are not your family anymore." Matching eyes starred into his own.

"Dad – "He started but his father soon cut him off.

"Don't call me that. You are not my son. You lost that privilege when you decided to be a faggot." He said getting closer to Nick.

"What is so wrong with me being gay?" He yelled back at his father, finally saying what he had been wanting to say for four years.

His dad's hands were wrapped around his neck and he was slammed against the wall. His sister fled from the table and up the stairs, while his mom put her head down.

"Nick, do you understand how much you've embarrassed me?" He wrapped a little tighter around his neck. Nick's hands flew up to his dad's and tried helplessly to get him off. He got the point where his face was almost purple and he was making a gargling noise with his mouth until his mother finally spoke up.

"Lawrence, that's enough." A few seconds later his dad's hands dropped from his neck and he was gasping for air. The color had returned to his face and he looked up at his father who clenched his calloused hands before storming out of the house.

"Nicolas, I think it would be best if he went upstairs."

He quickly ran up the stairs and wanting to just get to his room. Just as he got the stairs he saw his sister walk out of the bathroom. Where he knew she had been hiding.

"Hey Bri," He smiled sadly at her.

"Dad said I can't talk to you anymore." She whispered quietly before going into her room and shutting the door behind her.

He stood in shock once again that day. He quickly ran into his room. He rang his hands as he entered his personal bathroom. He had cut before. It had been for making the pain go away, sometimes. Once he started dating Jeff he had stopped because he had finally been happy. Happier than he had ever been before. He reached into his shower taking out the small blade that sat on the ledge. He ran it under the water before placing in onto his skin, his inner arms. He pressed a little harder and slid down, wincing a little. He quickly did it again and once more. Making an 'I' on his skin. He continued to do this until spelling out the word 'I'm' on his left arm. He began to do the same on the other arm. Making an 'S'. He knew he didn't have to write a note saying why he did this to himself. He could say all he wanted to right now. And the people that he cared about knowing would already know why. He looked down at his finished product as blood oozed from the words 'I'm sorry'. He began to feel light headed as he walked into his room. He didn't even wrap his arms up, which caused blood to be dripping on his perfect white carpet. He reached into his night stand drawer pulling out a container of pills, which read; Anti-Depressants on the bottle. He walked back into the bathroom popping in pill after pill, completely dry. He sat on the ground, slumping against the wall. He took the still bloody blade and pulled up his shirt. He began mindlessly cutting at his stomach before he fell into a deep happy sleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up.

* * *

Jeff was joking happily with Kurt, Blaine, and some of the other warblers. He thanked god that Sebastian and Nick weren't there, well Nick wouldn't be because he was not a warbler anymore. He did feel bad for him, but then it would quickly go away when he thought about what Nick had done with Sebastian. He thought Nick would never do that. He didn't think Nick was even capable of doing that. Nick always looked down upon cheaters; turns out he is one himself. He had been crying the past few days 24/7. He could barely stop until Wes told him that he needed to man up. He couldn't though. The _love _of his life had _cheated _on him. Right now, he was okay, though. He was actually smiling as Blaine talked non-stop about his love for Katy Perry. He and Nick used to make fun of him for that all the time. He couldn't help but sigh. He really missed him, not just as a boyfriend but as a person. They were best friends. They have been since Kindergarten when the two boys from different classrooms met on the playground. He wondered what Nick was doing right now. After he had ran out no one had the guts to follow after him, and some thought that he deserved it. Everyone was laughing at Kurt and Blaine's playful banter when Jeff's phone began buzzing. He pulled it out of his pocket, with everyone's eyes now on him. His eyes widened at the caller I.D. 'Mama Duval' was flashing in white letters upon the black iPhone in his hand.

"Who is it?" Kurt said leaning over trying to get a peek.

"Nick's mom." He said quietly before Flint let out a laugh.

"She's probably calling for him to say how sorry her son is!" Flint said making him and few others laugh loudly. He slowly pressed the green button and held it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"_Jeff? Jeff? Are you there?" _Nick's mom screamed frantically on the phone.

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"_I went upstairs to check on him and he was on the ground passed out! He was bleeding and there was an empty bottle of pills next to him! Were at the hospital and I wanted you to be here!" _His eyes filled up with tears at Nick's moms words. He couldn't believe Nick would try this again.

"What hospital are you at?" He said trying his best not to burst into tears and catching the attention of the warblers.

"_St. Francis. Just please hurry."_

He quickly hung up the phone and stood up to put his jacket on as fast as he could.

"Jeff? What's going on?" Blaine said standing up.

"Something happened to Nick. I have to go."

"You can't drive like this," Kurt said standing up too "Me and Blaine will take you.

* * *

As Blaine, Kurt, and Jeff entered the hospital Jeff was shaking. He couldn't lose Nick. Yes, they aren't together, but of course he still loves him. Maybe, not as a boyfriend anymore, but as the best friend that used to steal all of his Cheeze-Itz at lunch time. He should have been there for Nick more. This could have gone better. It's just; he wanted Nick to feel as bad as he did. He quickly walked up to the front desk begging the lady sitting there to tell him where Nick's room was. After a little arguing they finally made their way back to room 36. He almost fainted when he heard the woman say his room number. Of course. Of freaking course he would have their number. He guessed the universe was trying to tell him something. He stopped dead in his tracks when saw Nick's family. Well, not his family, his dad. He knew about Nick's dad. Hell, he grew up around him. Most of the things he said Jeff didn't take to serious. He would often tell himself, _it's just a word, and it doesn't mean anything. _Nick was a different story. Nick took every word that came out of his father's mouth to heart. Whether it was because it is his dad or because that's just the way Nick is, he doesn't know. Nick's dad narrowed his eyes at his as soon as he noticed the blonde standing there.

"What are you doing here?" He stood up, beginning to approach Jeff.

"I'm here to see Nick." Jeff said narrowing his eyes right back.

If they weren't in this type of situation Jeff would have probably made some joke about this being a reenactment of an old western movie. Nick dad just continued to stare until his eyes fell on Kurt and Blaine, whose hands were entwined. He rolled his eyes while making a sound of disgust. He quickly turned on his heels and marched up to the other side of the hospital. Nick's mom sighed while standing up and making her way toward him. As soon the as they were close enough Nick's mom pulled him into a tight hug.

"Have you seen him yet?" Jeff asked trying to keep his tears at bay.

"Um, yes actually I have." She said wiping under his eyes. "He's been sleeping but you can go in if you want."

Jeff just nodded as he walked in front of the door. He was glad Nick was okay because he honestly doesn't know what he would do without him. He carefully turned the nob and walked into the dull room. The sight in front of him broke his heart. There lied Nick with tubes and wires all over his body and his shagging hair falling onto his face. He had to fight the urge to wipe it away like he would normally do. He couldn't believe this was his Nick. He looked so small and fragile lying in the hospital bed. He was pale, almost as pale as Kurt. He watched as greenish- hazel eyes that he loved so much flutter open.

"Jeff?" Nick croaked out before letting out a sob. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh baby," Jeff sighed and rushed over to the brunette. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you I promise."

Nick continued to sob into his chest repeating over and over about how sorry he was. He would just tell him it was okay while rubbing soothing circles on his back. He didn't know if he and Nick were back together. He didn't know if he could possibly trust him again. All he knew was that Nick needed help and if going back to the way they were for a little while would help then that's what he would do. All for Nick, _his Nick._

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**I hope you enjoyed! I'm actually really proud of this!**

**Plus it turns out I can't write fluff for my life \o/ WHOO!**

**Um, so yeah please review it would mean a lot!**


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